If your ex boyfriend deleted pictures of you together on Instagram, Facebook or any other relevant social media platform you came to the right place.
Today we’re going to talk about,
- What it means if they delete your photos together
- The timing of when he deleted your photos
- If you should counter delete your photos together on your social media platforms.
Let’s just jump right into it.
Does It Mean Anything If Your Ex Boyfriend Deleted Your Photos Together?
If you haven’t heard me talk about our private facebook support group then you’re in for a treat.
Believe it or not but this question gets asked in our private facebook group a lot so we have a lot of experience studying it.
There’s a couple of things I’d like to get across when it comes to studying why ex boyfriends delete pictures.
First is the concept that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
So, for us it’s actually more alarming to deal with an ex boyfriend who doesn’t delete your photos but simply leaves them up and never talks to you again. If you really think about it from a broad perspective there’s an emotional reaction any time you delete photos of an ex.
Sometimes that emotional reaction is driven by anger, grief or sorrow but these aren’t indifferent emotions.
Now, when I explain this to most of my clients they jump for joy and immediately think that their ex boyfriend wants them back. That’s simply not the case. The truth is that “deleting photos” has now become common breakup behavior. Think about it, there was always that cliche of “burning” the exes photos after a breakup before social media.
But there’s any number of reasons why that becomes incredibly dangerous.
So, instead of burning polaroid pictures like people used to do in the old days. Deleting photos on social media has become a viable replacement (and a safer one.)
Here’s the part I want you to grasp. Just because your ex boyfriend is having an emotional reaction by deleting your pictures doesn’t mean that he wants you back. All it usually means is that he’s grieving the breakup and this is his way of coping with it.
But is there more to it than it simply being “common breakup behavior?”
The answer to that is a resounding YES.
The Revenge Mentality
Breakups are this really weird competition.
No one wants to lose the competition so the second the breakup becomes official there’s a scramble to “win” the breakup. The irony is that “winning” is completely subjective. Nevertheless I know this concept exists because I literally subscribed to it in my younger days.
I’ve never been one for pictures. I really should be and I know this fact but one look at my facebook profile and you’ll find that my wife tags me in more pictures than I post.
Seriously, the last photo I posted was on January 2nd, 2017.
Here’s my point. Armed with this knowledge it puts my actions during one of my first breakups ever in perspective. My ex girlfriend at the time was really into posting pictures together. To the point that I had dozens of us together that I had posted on my Facebook profile. However, after the breakup occurred my first act was to delete every single one of the pictures together.
I’m rarely the type of person to go on and tinker with my social media account. I’ve got a busy life after all. So, the mere fact I did it in this case means I was doing it for revenge. I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me. Perhaps the greatest irony is that I was the one to break up with her.
Yet I still played the victim.
As far as I’m concerned most people walking this planet believe they are the most important person in the world. So, it makes sense that we all want to play the hero in our own story even if we’re not.
Of course, there’s another important consideration we need to take into account.
Does the timing of when he deletes your photos matter?
The Timing Of When He Deleted The Photos (Does It Mean Anything?)
A foundational strategy you’ll hear me talk a lot about throughout our program is the no contact rule.
I’ve filmed dozens of videos on it.
I’ve even written articles on it.
The no contact rule is essentially this period of time where you are trying to put the focus onto yourself instead of onto your ex. Usually you do this by completely ignoring them though there are some situations where that’s impossible.
Usually anywhere between 21-45 days you’re going to be ignoring your ex boyfriend.
And this is important to mention only because sometimes exes get mad when you do this and staying with our revenge theme they can delete your photos to illicit a reaction and believe me when I say it definitely works on their end.
Take solace in the fact that him deleting your photos isn’t indifferent behavior. Think about it for a moment. You decide you’re going to use a no contact rule and maybe halfway through it he reaches out to you expecting a response and never gets one. He tries again and once again hits the silence wall. This makes him angry so he decides the best way to “show you” is to delete your photos together.
Of course, there’s still a huge component of why an ex would delete your photos that we haven’t covered yet.
Sometimes It’s Too Painful To Be Reminded Of The Happy Times
A member in our private facebook group had an interesting take on this.
“So? I deleted my pics with my ex from IG (you just hide them, actually) and I still went through the program to get him back. I just didn’t want to see his face daily.”
Imagine for a moment that every single time you click on the FB app or the Instagram app the first thing that greets you is a picture of what your ex boyfriend is up to. At first it doesn’t bother you that much but as time wears on it brings you back to those emotional moments during your relationship. Worry takes over and you start to fear he’s going to move on to someone else.
You can’t take it anymore so you start making a habit of actively spying on his profile.
Every action he takes is on your radar. You’re hyper analyzing everything. Making matters worse you start obsessing over the pictures on your profile that you do have together.
This isn’t healthy behavior and at some point you realize you need to stop.
So, you focus on what you can control and that’s deleting the photos that you do have together.
It’s all from a place of grief and pain. It’s all with an intent on trying to develop more healthy habits on social media but one thing it’s not is indifference.
This leads us to the final question we need to answer today.
Should You Delete Your Photos Together?
You should never delete your photos together.
Well, one of our moderators of our private facebook group had an amazing response to this question.
“I would just leave them as is. Hiding or deleting will look like an emotional reaction. Besides, you’re too busy with UG trinity work to worry about photos.”
By deleting his photos of the two of you together your ex boyfriend may potentially be trying to illicit a reaction out of you. The best thing for you to do is to act unbothered by it because how will it look if you engage in a cold war.
- He deletes his photos of you together.
- You immediately respond by deleting your photos of you guys together
- He starts laughing internally because “he bothered you.”
The goal with everything we do here on this website is to make sure that you have more of an “ungettable” vibe.
Someone who is truly ungettable isn’t going to care about something as meaningless as photos. They’re more concerned with making a positive impact on people who deserve their attention. They’re too busy to get wrapped up in a cold war with an ex.
So, we covered a lot in a minuscule amount of time in this article.
- We talked about how it’s considered “normal” nowadays for exes to delete photos.
- We talked about how the opposite of love isn’t hate but rather indifference.
- We discussed how having an ex boyfriend delete your photos means something but usually not as much as you think.
- They could potentially be trying to get revenge or illicit a reaction out of you
- It could be a response to the no contact rule
- Sometimes they’ll delete photos because they’re trying to make a healthy decision not to obsess about you
- Finally we highly recommend that you DO NOT delete your own photos together. After all, you’re going to be too busy.